Monday, 25 November 2013

Man Of Steel (2013) Review

 It looks like there's open season on Man of Steel and I'm joining the fun.Screen Junkies's Honest Trailers made fun of this movie Nostalgia Critic promised a review of this in his Dawn of the Commercials video.I've seen their work it's awesome but they didn't point out some things so I have to step up and point them.This movie was major problems so some things will sound similar if they do excuse me but there's nothing I can do. Also the series Renegade Cut addressed the hole Superman as  Jesus topic (he is also on

**The Plot**

So our movie starts with the birth of Jesus...oh I mean Kal-El why is this important I'll explain later but that's a weird way to start a movie and we see that the animals of Krypton rejoice with the birth of SpaceJesus oh damn it it's Kal-El.
I like that they showed some animals on Krypton it makes the planet looks more realistic but they didn't show one particular kind of animal that I wanted to see. And that kind is dogs more specifically Krypto.

 I wanted to see a cameo from Krypto in this movie and for those of you are saying "that's stupid" or something in the like remember this is a movie about an alien that's looks exactly like us (on in the outside as swell as inside you know hearth,lungs,stomach etc ) and gains superpowers from our yellow sun if you can buy all of that I think that you can accept dogs on Krypton.

Later (I guess it's explained) Jor-El talks with the council regarding their impending doom and like all leaders in works of fiction they don't listen to him like they did before and created this disaster. So no matter the species or planet the politicians are idiots.

But then Zod (and his followers) shows up like saying "you're not the villains I AM"
Then he kills one of the council members to prove his point.
So he decides to prove further that he is the villain of the movie by saying that he will kill the bloodlines that let them to this points.Jor-El refuses his offer to him and gets arrested but escapes one scene later it's Russell Crowe.
So he climbs on H'Raka and goes after the codex.
1st of all does everybody on Krypton has one of those things a pet ?
Second of all this creature waited for him near a war zone ?
And yes it does looks like a bird from Avatar. 
Matrix babies
by the power of Greyskull ops wrong franschise
Apparently Krypton creates his children with specific goals in mind, so the babies are like robots or like ants with a job that they will be at.Jor-El steals the codex witch is that skull and goes home and does somethings to it.
trailer line!!!
Then surprisingly we get an interesting talk between Jor-El and Lara about sending him to an unknown planet with similar life forms.This is a good point of the adaptation it shows that the parents care about him and are considering this idea .
Then Zod show and wants to Codex in order to secure Krypton's future Jor-El tells him that they have made a son using the old fashion method.So yeah even among his people Superman is unique.So Zod kills Jor-El Kal-El gets sent to Earth.  
Then Zod's rebellion gets stopped in unless than 30 minutes what a pathetic villain  I mean he had almost full control of the army and still lost this guy sucks.
Or the plot saved him for the final battle who know so gets sent to the phantom zone.
kinda wasteful guys
So they have little energy and they still send their criminals into a pocket dimension and clone all of their citizens, well done dumbasses.

The Krypton part of the movie is great lots of action, interesting designs and some good setups for the characters.
is this the farm from Courage the Cowardly Dog
Unfortunately the movie doesn't show the meeting between the Kents and Kal and I think that this is major mistake of the movie.In the New 52 Action Comics they show this meeting in a pretty awesome way, showing that they were always meant to meet.
bullshit unless that he is covered in gasoline or oil
I like the pre-Superman moments of the film it shows the pressure of being someone with superpowers like the moral dilemma of fighting back or saving people or letting them die in order to say hidden and safe.
I don't like the Jonathan Kent of this movie.I think that his lines were written out of context. For instance one day Clack saves a bus full of children (we're talking about kid Clark here)  and the mom of the kids comes by their home and says that what he did was and "an act of God" that's is his reaction.
 Another semi-fail of the movie is that they don't show how he managed to control his powers ,I mean they show he freaks out when get his powers for the 1st time then they manage to teach him some control.
But they could have done more of that like a training montage or something like showing how he manages to control his powers.  

Meanwhile Lois Lane investigates an alien spaceship in the Arctic and she meets Col Hardy and Emil Hamilton ? yes i know him from the Superman TAS and the Justice League cartoon can't wait to see him in the sequel.
I've seen enough hentai to know here this is going
So yeah Lois Lane a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter wonders outside the base finds a entrance that leads straight to the ship (it was made by Clark).
So Clack activates the ship with his medallion (give by his real father)
finds some corpses and Lois pisses of the security drones with her flash nice going dumbass.So you know the drill Clark comes destroys the drone and then he has to cauterize her wound with his heat vision wait what ?
Cauterization for those of you who don't know is this "The medical practice or technique of cauterization is the burning of part of a body to remove or close off a part of it in a process called cautery, which destroys some tissue, in an attempt to mitigate damage, remove an undesired growth, or minimize other potential medical harmful possibilities such as infections, when antibiotics are not available"(this is the definition from wikipedia).
Wow this was approved for children ? God damn it's kinda scary to show this to and adult.

If I have to pin point the moment where the movie goes too dark and out of Superman territory this is it sure it's and ingenious use of his power but it's painful and too horrific to witness.
So the ship takes off with Clark on board Lois is left behind I'm sure she's fine in the subzero temperatures of the Arctic.
And I have to admit the ship design kinda looks cool but it reminds me of Moya from Farscape god damn there's nothing unique in this movie.
Wait what ? That ship has been in the iceberg for that long and yet it's functional and fly ready with security drones active and yet the people in the stasis pod died.How does that work ? Shouldn't the priority have been on people ?I know that his status quote is the last of his species but come one this is cheating.
So Lois tries to publish her finding but her redactor refuses because it sound silly.Then Lois begins her search for Superman.
it's easier to act this way

Meanwhile Kal talks with an A.I. version of his father within that wrecked ship so wait 18,000 years old tech is compatible with new Kryptonian tech wtf.So they didn't improve their tech in over 180 centuries o wait they did otherwise Kal's ship  wouldn't have made it here.  

So we are told about Krypton again, shows some machines that will no way appear in movie and gives him his suit.
So the ship had the suit all along or did Jor-El created it. So Superman suit up and tries to fly but fails wow he sucks all this time on Earth and he didn't even try to see how powerful he is? Well with this Jonathan Kent that might sound plausible.
sorry son college taxes are too expensive
And speaking of Jonathan he dies in the most stupid way possible in this movie.Now I know that the message is that died protecting his son but come one you head out into danger while your son is indestructible ? that's stupid.Also before his death Clark says straight out lout that he isn't his dad but he can see that he regrets that right way and this a good scene until his stupid death.This whole flashback scene actually has a porpuse as is told to Lois by Clark yeah she found him(world greatest detective)surprisingly he decides to keep his secret.
Later that day Clark returns home an tells his mom that he found his people and he tells her the rest (It's not showed).So Zod show up and apparently he took lessons from the Fallen from Transformers Revenge of the Fallen why you ask ? because he hacks several networks(tv,mobile and internet) in order to broadcast his message and his message is delivered in several languages.

Also Nokia not a good idea to show your phone as hackable ,now not get me wrong i have nothing against Nokia or Ads but you have to admit it's kinda silly to show your product like this.

So with world talks about Kal-El and whether should they turn him on to Zod in order to save their ass.
And the USA government arrest Lois for her article yeah sounds stupid. 
So Clark goes to church in order to ask for advice I am conflicted about this it's nice to see that's he's actually asking for advice from one of the natives and but shouldn't he talk witH Jor-El order to make a plan to stop Zod ? Also Jesus in the background do you get the subtle reference that Superman is like Jesus actually is like Moses but nice try.
Superman surrenders himself to the military in exchange for Lois's freedom.Btw the image of him handcuffed was kinda
over used my in opinion sure they need to sure him but come Superman treated like this because he's different and an emigrant well done guys.
damn he's hot

They meet with Faora the military surrenders Superman but apparently Zod wants Lois as well for what purpose God if know maybe he read her articoles.

I was about to congratulate the writers of this movie because they don't mention/use kryptonite but that changes when we arrive on Zod's ship.
You've seen that right ->
Superman is weakened by is own planet's atmosphere and not just weakened he loses his powers just like Kryptonite sure he doesn't die.
His powers don't come from Earth atmosphere they come from the sun.
In Superman Unbound (witch came out 1 month before this piece of shit ) Superman is captured by Brainiac and shrunken down and put in a mini version of Kandor witch has the atmosphere as Krypton and even RED SUN AND HE STILL HAD HIS POWERS SURE THEY WERE A BIT WEAKENED BUT HE STILL HAD THEM AFTER PROLONGED EXPOSURE I MIGHT ADD. 
So Zod tells him how he survived the planet destruction how he survived by looking for the colonies and how he found earth (it's Clark's fault). Also those colonists died right near the ships it's like they died right there like something killed on the spot maybe it was the plot.

Zod also states that he found a Terraforming device could he have used it on that planet to make it habitable.And don't tell that he need it the Codex to rebuild Krypton because that's not entirely true it's been established that they can create babies using the old fashion way so yeah get Faora and get busy you dumbass. 
you know for kids
So he tells Supes that he killed his father and basically tells him that he is going to destroy Earth oh wait he doesn't just tell him he show him but thank god because it turns out that nightmare was only that a nightmare scene.
Meanwhile Lois has been put in an improvised cell that contains a port to Jor-El a.i. version and she's left unsupervised ques what happens next if you said screws with ships systems you'd be right.So Jor make the atmosphere compatible for humans and they escape.
Meanwhile Zod and his goons go to his mother's house in order to find the codex and they get mad because because the codex isn't here and trash her house.
But then Superman comes in and starts beating Zod for threatening his mother and he beats him like he did with Brainiac in Superman Unbound by sensory overload.
Then Zod retreats leaving Faora and this other guy to fight Superman btw this other guy is taller than Supes.

What follow is an epic brawl between Superman ,2 Kryptonians and the military (too bad that this is an text review and I can't show you the fight).
The fight is well filmed there little zoom action and when it's used it makes the moment more awesome so well done also Superman is pretty badass here fighting 2 opponents at once.
The military is kinda useless in this fight  and Super has to save their asses most of the time.There's a lot of propriety damage in this fight but it's a clash of titans so what do you aspect also he kinda saves some people at the cost of buildings so good call. 
Meanwhile at the bad guy's ship the scientist guy found the Codex and it in Superman's cells.Yeah remember in the begging when Jor-El did that thing to the baby this is what he did and get your popcorn cuz I have to explain how stupid this is .
1st of all human cells or kryptonian cells in this case have a limited lifespan.
The cell with the longest lifespan is the neuron but here we are shown a blood cell or a erythrocytes witch lasts for about 100 days then it's removed from the body through the liver so if these things are still attached when the cells  "die" so does that thing right ? well that means that there's no more Codex.
So Zod after seeing what power he can gain on the planet decides screw it I'm going to terraform this bitch and lose those awesome powers that the atmosphere gives me and remember they established that the atmosphere gives Kryptonians their power.

And apparently the terraforming device is working with the space in order to change the planet so the device in the Indian Ocean and while in the ship is in Metropolis.
The military and Superman work together and made a plan Superman will destroy the Terraforming device in the Indian Ocean while military will attack Zod's ship in Metropolis with Kal's baby ship that has also Phantom drive so basically the plan is send the bad guys into the Phantom Zone.
This plan is stupid Superman can attack Zod's ship then he can destroy the terraforming device what's wrong with this plan ? Answer nothing the devices are linked so if one is destroyed the other one losses power simple also my plan would have saved Metropolis.But no the military need to be useful so yeah.
Meanwhile Zod leaves Faora in charge while he goes to find that ship that Kal 1st found on Earth.And talk with the Jor-El A.I. and then deletes him so Jor-El is dead for good also Zod learned how to control his but he is still going to turn Earth into Krypton. 
What now you are leaving wasn't the big alien ship that started to shoot a bean down on the ground a big enough clue to get fuck out of town now that the jet have showed up you have to go.Shouldn't the army or something call these dumbasses and tell to get the fuck out.
I've seen spoilers about the destruction of Metropolis but it's not that much compared with other movies that come out at the same as this.

I've heard complaints about the civilian casualties in movie yeah I think that many of those and yes Superman should have saved them but it's also their damn fault for staying in the city and also the military is to blame for not evacuating the city.He might be Superman but right now he is a noob this is the 1st time when he tries to save the world. 

Now back to the destruction of Metropolis I've seen several of the summer blockbusters and I think that some of the beat Man Of Steel with the destruction level and loss of life
 Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
 G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
Fun Fact in  G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) they destroy like 3 cites like that.

For Christ sake people is not as bad Devilman (2004) give a rest.

Sure I am piss off myself but seeing other failures calms me down

So they manage get the mini ship in range Zod attack with that ship but comes in and destroy it.

You know for a military commander Zod is and idiot the brought a one of a kind ship that could have restored Krypton but an active combat zone.
That sounds like a good idea right what did you think that was going to happen Kal choosing Krypton over Earth ?
So they manage to combine the 2 Phantom drives all the Kryptonian troops get sucked into the black as well as the passages from the plane including Emil and that soldier guy the only survivor is Lois.
Superman saves her from the black hole and they start making out in the ruins of the city kinda disturbing but Zod show up for the final battle.  
btw when I saw this in the trailer I though that it was Lex's armor
The final battle with Zod is entertaining I won't lie but it's kinda the same from the battle with Faora but that one had the charm of being 2 against 1 and also the chaos of the army.It's good but we kinda saw it before.

We get 2 interesting Easter eggs in this movie 
The 1st one is a truck for Lexcorp Lex Luthor's company the second one is a Wayne Satellite yes Wayne like in Bruce Wayne aka Batman but not the one from the Dark Knight Trilogy.

Now I've reach a point that I've been dreading from the start the way Superman stops Zod you know what I'm talking about the neck snap

First of all I have to say that the civilians in this movie are stupid but these people take the cake.They could I have easily escaped the situation by ruining and don't tell that they couldn't the people around them started running before Zod gotten in the "dead spot". 

And even in that spot they could have gone under the beam remember Superman is holding Zod head up or they could have gone in the opposite direction.
How knows maybe they wanted to die,family suicide gather round kids so that the beam to could hit us all.
So yeah Superman kills Zod in order to save those dumbasses maybe they should have die( forcing my favorite superhero doing this you freaking morons )
I can understand that is was to tough decision to make I can accept but I can't say and smile "Superman beat a guy by snapping his neck" it sound wrong in my mind killing is not something that I associate with Superman unless it's an alternate version of him but ISN'T that this is 1st film in long time and also this leads into the Justice League so he has to be the perfect example of morality one of the pillars of the League but after this he can't be that now.
I think that movie should have ended with Lois and him kissing that would have been a perfect ending replace Faora with Zod in the fight scenes and done good movie but no you had to push it. 

There are some other scene but I'll skip so the movie end with Clark Kent joining the Daily Plant in his classic disguise I like how Lois is kinda winking (she knows).

**Final Thoughts**

The final act of this movie is so dark actually the hole movie is kinda dark.
I kinda get what they tried to do with this movie they tried to apply the same themes that were on Batman but Batman and Superman are too different characters you can't mismatch their themes and hope it will work.
STOP comparing Batman with Superman it doesn't work they are totally different
Batman works better with dark themes because the story has a dark origin while Superman's origin is kinda he stands for hope.

Actually the ending of The Dark Knight Rises is more hopeful than the ending of this movie.
BTW was I the only that was hopping for a cameo from Superman.You know in what scene the cameo will have made scene (hint near the end and it involves the Batwing and the bomb)

The Superman mythology is present in this movie but it's kinda broken.The whole atmosphere change equals no more powers/death yeah that's silly and stupid and the cloning things is also stupid you know about Supergirl right ? But there are some good things in this movie give it a watch if you can there are some good moments where you feel that the character but also there are face palm moments when fail miserably .  

-Final Score:2.4/5

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1 comment:

  1. Good review. Wish it was a lot better like the trailers and previews promised, but I guess you can’t win every battle.